Life is good

Life is definitely good. I am very happy because I made progress. Life is definitely something that you have in your forethought, it is all projected in everyday life. I got the fellowship offer!!! OMG, this feels so good!!!! 

As a graduate student, I need to know myself in a way that I can control myself, push myself on the right track and supervise myself. This sense of autonomy takes a lot of energy to make things right, or else I can be at the very wrong place. And so far, all is well, oh, all is great!!!

I made myself to wake up at 7.15a.m. In order to do that, I need to sleep earlier, like 10.30p.m. or 11.00p.m. And I need to unwind after long day in library. So when I am back home, I did not touch anything related to work. I left work at work, although I don't really have a workplace. But the point is, I let things go so that I am ready to pick up things again. I went for a run, or a 30-minutes workout or swimming. Then prepare for dinner, an episode of drama, or grab a book (romance of course) and prepare to sleep. Then the next morning, I am good to go. Do 5-minutes French language exercises and read an article on Flipboard, make a hairdo then off to work.

I managed to repeat this for 2 weeks. What happened to me this week?

Well, I have menstrual cramp on Tuesday so I took the day off. I have mind cramp, yeah you heard me right, mind cramp on Wednesday. I can't think straight, I was lingering around theory and model and concept and I don't know what to do with them. Hell, I am stuckkkkkkk. Thursday, the same cycle repeat again and I cannot stand it, then he can not stand with me.

He had a serious talk with me (not really serious though), he just want to bring me back to the right track. I was too anxious, I mean too freaking anxious about not making progress. I know I know clock is ticking but I can't just put it all on myself. He said, it is normal, it is okay for not making progress for a day or two, may be three. The point is, blaming myself is not gonna help at all. So why do that? Why push the "stuck" mind to the corner again?

So hell yeah!! I stop making excuses. And I start finding solutions. And now is the part I have to figure it out. Analytic thinking and synthesizing ideas takes time. It takes a lot of time, if you want to make a good one. So all this while, I want to make progress and a perfect project at the same time, is actually, very very tiring. So I have to tell my self, hey, take your time to make things good. 

Yeah. I am super tired now because I have long but good day! I am going to make it better by watching some goooooooooood drama!!! Let's go babe. LIFE IS GOOD.

( I sounds tired, I know, but tired is good, my energy is not wasted!)

To be able to fly, you need to do more than wanting to fly. You need to move your ass and start doing things. Go now. Make things happen.