I am confused too.
You know what? I am confused too. They said we can find them anytime, about anything. That they will be there for us, when we need them. Some of them mean it, but may be some of them don't.
I am already get used to the lifestyle, the way to make it works. When I need you, I am not hesitate to call you, and yes, you are always there. When I have a problem, yes, you are the first one come across my mind. And then all of sudden, you said you hope I can be more independent. Hope I can take care of myself. Of course I do. Oh so what should I do? When I decided to take it all for myself, and you start to worry about me, like I can't stand on my own. Like I am blaming you not there for me. Hey, you told me to stand still, not leaning on you. So I am bloody hell confused. When I call, I am dependent like a small kid. When I didn't call, I am an adult who blaming on partner not standing by their side. So whatever I do, I am always not right. I am not victimized myself for this time. Not this time. I am pretty sure what I want.
24/7 to be there to help people solve their problem is impossible, indeed. But what is it when I want to keep those things to myself? I was labelled as tempered, unhappy, always unhappy girl. Of course I will be unhappy, because I am facing a problem, solving it and trying to make things right. How do you expect me to clean my ass on one side and smiling to you on the other side? I have the right to be unhappy too. But now I can't. Because when I do, you will get tired, you will get burdened. And you know what, it is my fault again. So I am really confused.
Hopefully I can think through this in time.
I am already get used to the lifestyle, the way to make it works. When I need you, I am not hesitate to call you, and yes, you are always there. When I have a problem, yes, you are the first one come across my mind. And then all of sudden, you said you hope I can be more independent. Hope I can take care of myself. Of course I do. Oh so what should I do? When I decided to take it all for myself, and you start to worry about me, like I can't stand on my own. Like I am blaming you not there for me. Hey, you told me to stand still, not leaning on you. So I am bloody hell confused. When I call, I am dependent like a small kid. When I didn't call, I am an adult who blaming on partner not standing by their side. So whatever I do, I am always not right. I am not victimized myself for this time. Not this time. I am pretty sure what I want.
24/7 to be there to help people solve their problem is impossible, indeed. But what is it when I want to keep those things to myself? I was labelled as tempered, unhappy, always unhappy girl. Of course I will be unhappy, because I am facing a problem, solving it and trying to make things right. How do you expect me to clean my ass on one side and smiling to you on the other side? I have the right to be unhappy too. But now I can't. Because when I do, you will get tired, you will get burdened. And you know what, it is my fault again. So I am really confused.
Hopefully I can think through this in time.
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